Being a massage therapist sounds like a perfect job. Or if not perfect, then at least really, really good one. I help others. I genuinely change their lives for better. I have flexible working hours. I massage when I want to and don’t massage when I don’t want to. I constantly learn and develop. Every massage is different, so it’s never boring. I meet amazing people with amazing stories… all this is unicorns and rainbows I’m telling you 😉
Here’s the thing: sometimes I don’t like my job. I sometimes feel so frustrated, tired, hopeless that I seriously think about quitting. And I will tell you why. In this video I am talking about disadvantages, drawbacks, limitations and shadows of masseuse’s work. 5 reasons of my frustration, tears and doubts. Because as much as I love what I do, this is not like Christmas every day.
I keep saying – massage doesn’t need to be painful. In fact, I believe it shouldn’t. But this doesn’t mean that massage is a blissful experience always. Sometimes DISCOMFORT appears. Discomfort on physical, emotional or mental level.
In this video I am talking about discomfort in massage. How it is different from pain, how it can, in fact,help us during the massage and what we can do to go through it… and what is on the other side of discomfort? I am sharing examples of me going through moments of discomfort when receiving and giving massages.
PS – this video is a replay of Facebook live from October 4, 2019.
I like staying in touch with my massage clients, asking them how they felt after the session, listening to what changed in their lives thanks to massage, regardless of if it was just one session of if we meet regularly.
Some time ago my client wrote me that after massage she finally had made a big decision – one that she had been postponing for a long time.
This doesn’t surprise me. Lomi lomi can help with decision making. There are even legends about this massage being given for hours or days to high chiefs of the village so they could make best decisions for the whole community.
So how does this work? Why does massage help you make decisions (does this sound crazy to you)?
In fact, it is very simple. When your body softens and mind quiets, when pain (physical or emotional) gets out of the way, when you enter the space of silence and stillness after massage, then everything naturally comes to you – including answers and ideas. It’s as if a good session of lomi lomi helped you live – and make decisions – out of love, not fear.
I still remember one lomi lomi I received, and how I was taking a shower after, and to my surprise I realized that something I had considered a problem was not a problem anymore – I just knew what to do, I was absolutely sure from the bottom of my heart.
I believe that tension creates only tension. Tense body cannot feel, tense mind cannot think – and both feeling and thinking are crucial for making truthful, confident, aligned decisions. Anything that helps you find true relaxation, rest and balance (and massage is a good example of such thing) will help you make decisions.
When I need to make a big decision I give myself as much time as I can. I breathe. I imagine all the options and check how I feel. I think and behave like I already made that choice and check if I have tensions in my body. And I make sure to give my body and mind plenty of chances to relax, soften, unwind – I go to sauna, for long walks or even the whole weekend somewhere in the nature, I meditate, I talk to my friends, I drink heart-opening pure cacao (the same I serve to my clients before massage) and, of course, I receive massages with intention to help me make the best decision. And then it just comes. Confidence. Courage. Vision. Certainty. Peace.
What helps you make decisions? What do you do when you face a big decision in your life?
One of the most interesting moments of #lomilomitraining are talks and sharings that happen in between massaging. Yesterday we had this fascinating discussion with my students, about massage and pain.
Some people believe that a good massage has to be painful. Some people would think like this: “I went for a massage and it hurt, so it must have been good and deep”. Some people would say – no pain, no gain. Some people would think that it’s normal to have bruises after massage. When you have tensions, massage hurts, full stop.
I wish I could talk to these people and tell them this: Repeat after me – no pain, more gain. No pain, more gain. No pain, MORE GAIN.
And then I would massage them. I would go deep, really deep into the tissues. I would stretch every muscle, press, pull, rotate, soothe. Many tensions would get released. Their mobility would increase. They would feel relaxed, rejuvenated, reborn. And they would NOT feel pain during the massage – because it’s not needed! How do you want to take the pain away from the body by bringing more pain? This doesn’t make sense to me.
Maybe it’s my life mission to share this message with the world: massage doesn’t need to feel painful to be efficient. You don’t need to suffer. Whatever you want to achieve, whatever you want to feel, PAIN WILL NOT TAKE YOU THERE.
I know, I understand that there are people who enjoy really deep massage work – I am one of them. But AGAIN: deep doesn’t mean painful. Do you think you “like” pain in the massage? Maybe it’s because you never experienced a not-painful, efficient, tension-releasing bodywork? Or maybe you are afraid of what is under the pain, what shows up when you go deep WITHOUT pain? Because there is a whole world there. And pain will not take you into these places.
April 2017. I am on my lomi lomi practitioner training with kumu Susan Floyd. Last day of the course is so called “temple day” where we give and get full 4-hand lomi lomi sessions. I receive as first and it turns out to be one of the most transformational moments of my life. I cry almost all the time when four hands massage me with love. I cry so much that I cannot breathe through my nose and my eyes are so swollen that I barely can see. But at the end of the massage comes peace like I never felt before. I rest in silence, in stillness and then I hear a voice speaking Polish, saying: how can you think that I wish ill upon you while I am only love?
It was the first time I felt what people often feel after lomi lomi – that the world holds you, takes care of you, that all is good and you are safe.
It’s not uncommon to “hear voices” during or after massage There’s a beautiful legend about lomi lomi, that it used to be a ritual for high chiefs. They were massaged for hours, for days until every tension in their bodies was gone. Then, when the physical touch ended, they would stay still and listen to the guidance of ancestors and gods. I love this legend because it shows how massage helps to gain balance, peace and inner guidance.
I hear voices during massage usually when the session was really transformational to me. Once I heard somebody whispering my name right into my ear, I even asked my friend after the session if it was her, but no.
My clients sometimes share their experiences of hearing voices or music, or seeing colors during massage. The most important thing is: this is nothing unusual and nothing to worry about. You are not crazy. There are many explanations of this phenomenon, from neurological theories to quantum physics to spiritual teachings. You can choose to use these experiences as guidance, or just enjoy, or you can ignore them 😊
PS – this photo on the top of the article is from my last trip to Hawaii. Apparently that stone bench was a favorite resting place of some high chief. I wonder if he used to sit there after his lomi lomi 🙂